Posts by under the radar

36

Family Reuinion and Being Disfellowshipped (sorry...but it's long)

by babygirl30 in

jw
friends

it has been a long looong time since i posted on here, but never ceased reading all the posts and keeping up on the changes that have been going on!

but it just seems that now i have a need to get something off my chest, and this is the one place that will most definitely understand the topic at hand.

i have been disfellowshipped for about 8yrs now, and have dealt with the 'consequences' of that decision: all my so-called friends in the org left and i was also abandoned by my own family.

under the radar

I am so proud of you for standing your ground and holding your head high at the family reunion. You go, girl!

Actually, your parents' actions had the opposite effect of what they intended. Their cold and unloving attitude gave a "bad witness" and brought "reproach on Jehovah's name." You dad's unappreciative and self-righteous shunning of you after you "saved his bacon" by bringing the forgotten meat was noted and commented on. Then when he lied about his reasons for treating you that way, he undermined whatever vestige of respect the others may have had for him and his beliefs before. The fact that he felt the need to deny that he was obeying a major teaching of his religion put it in a bad light as well. It exposed the hypocrisy of the "one true religion™."

Your sister is in a tough spot. Maybe one day you can be completely reconciled. It's shameful the way your parents are coercing her into going along with them.

Frankly, I'm surprised your parents even showed up once they knew you were coming. Some JW's in my family have tried to guilt me into not coming to family events by saying that if I did, they would not be able to. They did succeed in keeping me from the gathering that followed my dad's memorial service by threatening to create a scene. I guess they were afraid my "apostacooties" would contaminate the JW family and friends who would be there, even though it was at a public restaurant. When my aunt passed away, my sister treated the other family members to dinner after the service but was adamant that no one was to tell me about it, even though I had flown in from 1500 miles away, rented a car, and booked a hotel room just to be at the service. Not everyone agreed with excluding me, but no one spilled the beans. I found out later. As an aside, my aunt's will had been changed within the last year to name only one beneficiary. Guess who it was...

Anyway, I decided that from then on, I would go to whatever family events I was invited to without regard to who else was coming or not coming. If someone didn't want to show up because I might be there, so be it. Their loss.

About a year ago, there was big reunion for family on my mother's side. None of the JW's showed up, though to be fair, some had perfectly valid reasons why they couldn't make it. Regardless, my Extremely Significant Other and I attended and we were embraced with the love and kindness and hospitality you would expect at a family reunion, all from "worldly" relatives. Draw your own conclusion.

Congratulations for standing up for yourself, and for helping your family see the truth about how your parents are treating you and the real reason why. You're an inspiration to everyone here.

Thank you so much for sharing this story. Let us know how things go.

116

You Tube Video Ex-Betheliite Ex-Walkill Worker Layed Off!

by cha ching in

i am not sure if this guy is really from bethel, or walkill, but if he is....this poor guy really tells it like it is from the heart.

he was surprised.. at the 'oh so fast, pack your bags, get your stuff outta here' layoff !.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uk1xh1egjcu

under the radar

I'm glad he shared this and that someone found it and posted it here.

Obviously, none of us know the full circumstances, but I too am appalled at the callous and unloving way this was handled. A few years ago, the same thing happened to an acquaintance who was a long-time Bethelite but had reached the age where they begin to view people as liabilities more than productive drones. He absolutely refused to acknowledge the term "downsizing." He said, "That's a worldly term!" He just resolutely accepted that he was being "reassigned" to the field. His words said one thing, but his face said another. No adequate notice, no severance, no assistance finding lodging or employment, no moving assistance, no nothing. Just "Have a nice day and don't let the door hit you on the way out." Poor guy.

I hope Marcus did better than he. I wish him good luck with the rest of his life, whatever direction it takes.

9

The WT Trucking Outfit Has Violations

by cattails in

2. total number of vehicle inspections for the measurement period.

n. fatigued truck driving (hours-of-service) basic serious violation indicator (y = serious violation within previous 12 months).

n. kingdom support services inc truck driver fitness data.

under the radar

That's actually a very good record. Of course, it needs to be viewed in the light of:

(1) Not EVERYTHING the Society does is underhanded and duplicitous. Heck, even the Nazis dressed sharp, created the VW bug, built the Autobahn, etc. Of course, that doesn't even come CLOSE to ameliorating the evil teachings they promote and the real damage they do to ordinary people. Hmmm... is there a parallel here?

(2) The Society has powerful financial reasons to comply with trucking regulations. There are no customers demanding refunds for late shipments, no drivers or mechanics clamoring for overtime. Fines for repeated or egregious violations can be quite heavy. And if, as I believe, they are self-insured, any losses from accidents and/or lawsuits therefrom could be very expensive. It's just good sense to play by the rules. Nobody ever said the Society was stupid with their money.

That said, I believe the Society as it exists now is driven by two overriding prime directives:

(1) Protect their financial interests through the use of shell corporations, secrecy and coverups anywhere exposure could cost them money, obfuscating the lines of authority by having positions such as pioneers and ministerial servants appointed locally or by traveling overseers instead of by the branch (so they can deny liability or responsibility for their actions), publishing self-serving written instructions that seem to establish one policy (reporting child abuse, for example) while verbally giving off-the-record conflicting instructions about the real way it's to be done, pressuring those injured on Society property or projects not to file lawsuits or even request medical expenses from them but instead to use their own personal health insurance, claiming that an individual's field service is a personal ministry and not a required or sponsored activity (so they can deny liability or responsibility for anything that might happen), and on and on...

(2) Accumulate as much wealth as possible as quickly as possible while not appearing to do so. The recent money grab and land grab is a spectacular example of this greed. Most regular JW's don't even realize what happened. And fewer still have any idea of its magnitude. They were screwed over royally and don't even know it. And there are other underhanded schemes like determining the amount a circuit is to donate to the Society from the proceeds of a given assembly in order to guarantee there will be a "deficit" early on the last day and thus manipulate the "brothers" into contributing more, pressuring members into using only certain hotels so the Society can get kickbacks, making individuals buy their own trolley carts and furnish their own literature and then demanding that any contributions be turned over in full, etc., etc.

The Society is run by lawyers and accountants. Any pretense at a "spiritual" purpose is a sideshow, a distraction to hide what it's really about.

7

Grieving for the Living

by StinkyPantz2.0 in

jw
friends

i originally wrote this blog a few years ago, but yesterday a friend that is struggling to decide whether or not she will tell her family that she no longer accepts the jehovahs witness religious doctrine reminded me of it so i am re-sharing (with updates).. its not always completely freeing to come out of the closet (as an atheist in my case) and i wanted her to understand that.. i had a very strange realization recently: i dont know what its like to be someones adult child.

my parents didnt get the privilege of seeing me come of age.

i didnt get walked down the aisle when i got married.

under the radar

That was a very poignant post. Thanks for sharing. There are far too many situations like yours, with varying totality and severity, all over the world. It's not just the JW's. Many other "Christian" and non-Christian groups have similar religion-over-family policies. In some places, those who dare reject the faith of their parents can be literally murdered with impunity, just like it was among "God's people" in the good ol' Bible days.

Organized religion is a festering cancerous sore on the face of humanity, and it's high time we outgrew it.

I am so sorry for your loss. Actually, it's their loss. You have risen above their petty superstitions and prejudices. Congratulations.

But still, I feel and share your sadness. They know not what they do.

57

Shall I go to the meeting? Would you?

by KateWild in

hi guys,.

i might go to the meeting.

i stopped going in my heart properly in nov 2013, but i went to a couple of meetings to support a love one that was df'd and tried to teach them a little ttatt.. now another df'd loved one is coming to see me today and will likely encourage me to try and get ri'd, and i want to support her.

under the radar

Hi Kate. I think Flipper is onto something. He's absolutely right that it's your decision and yours alone to make. But may I offer three things to consider?

(1) If you go back to meetings, even just few, or even just to give a little comfort and support to a friend, it could set you back emotionally and psychologically. Can you risk that at this point?

(2) It might send the wrong message to your precious children. It might seem to say that you're not really sure about the Society and your decision to leave. It could be confusing to them, especially your son, and undermine all you've done to show them it's a mind-controlling cult masquerading as the "true religion." If word does get back to your ex, you can be sure he'll twist the circumstances and use it to undermine and discredit you personally.

(3) If you and your friend sit together at the meeting, it's entirely possible that you both will be counseled that associating with a disfellowshipped person, even if you're disfellowshipped yourself, is "bad association" and will hinder (if not prevent) your being considered for reinstatement. Ridiculous and petty, but true. If your friend is serious about being reinstated, this could ruin your friendship. She may choose to shun you in order to appear more righteous and repentant to the Elders™. It has happened before, believe me.

Several have suggested that you meet with her in a casual setting away from the Kingdom Hall. I think that's a great idea. You'll both feel freer to express what you're really thinking, and be able to visit and talk unconstrained by the fear that candid comments might come back to haunt you.

Whatever you decide, good luck to you. And congratulations on reestablishing contact with your friend.

34

Vertigo, WTH.

by James Mixon in

jw
friends

who here have suffer from vertigo?

if so how did you combat it?

how long.

under the radar

Ménière's disease can produce similar symptoms. Like FayeDunaway said, there are certain exercises that can help. If it persists, you really should see a doctor. Knowing what the problem is can give you peace of mind and help you deal with it better.

Good luck.

21

Hi all, the prodigal daughter returns to JWD.

by cattails in

jw
friends

it's been four years (has it really been that long) that i haven't been on jwd.. i was back out west for a long while and i came back to new england.

just got an appartment with another sister and things are looking up.

i'm keeping under the radar and avoiding elder visits--not fully out of the kingdom hall yet.

under the radar

Welcome back, cattails! My Extremely Significant Other and I live in Manchester NH, about 50 miles northwest of Boston. I was born and raised in the South, but I love it here. Hope you missed our Winter from Hell (now there's a oxymoron!).

There are others of the ex-JW persuasion in the area as well. Maybe there will be an Apostafest up here one day. Kind of an "anti-convention." Now that would something worth attending...

17

Jehovah's Witness meets a Born Again Christian on a Train. Oh and a Muslim

by passwordprotected in

a couple of saturdays ago i and my girlfriend (who happens to be baptised into the greek orthodox religion, but practises greek catholic...no, she's not greek) were on the virgin train from glasgow to london.. we had reserved seats on the quiet zone of the train, because y'know, a 5 hour train journey shouldn't be sullied by mobile phones ringing and noisy conversations.. somewhere around the lake district a very tall woman sits at the table across the carriage from us, a table already occupied by a very chatty, bearded man in his late 50s, along with his wife.

this man was directing people where to stow their luggage and asking random travellers questions about their journey to the point where i sent my girlfriend a text message (easier to communicate that way without others overhearing us) asking if he was the "train boss".. he struck up a conversation with this new passenger about his travels, but i wasn't really paying attention as i was watching a movie on my ipad, wearing noise cancelling headphones.

after a little while i noticed they'd stopped chatting and the woman was now reading.

under the radar

Thanks for sharing that story, and especially for the pics. I don't blame you for being put off by the loud discussion, especially when you paid extra to be in the quiet section. If there was a conductor or attendant around, they should have asked them to dial it back or move to another car.

This reminded me of my own train story, though it's not nearly as interesting as yours. I was in Cambridge between Christmas and New Year's a year ago and got to take the high speed train down to London and back for a day of sightseeing. Really enjoyed the train ride, and finally seeing some of the historic spots in London I'd always wanted to see was great. It was a very good, albeit long, day. Anyway, as we're speeding down the tracks toward London at about 100 mph (160 km/h), what should I see out the window but a big blue JW-dot-org sign put up in someone's back yard, obviously put there to "witness" to the train passengers. I wonder if the homeowner is a JW just doing his bit, or if a local congregation paid someone to put it there. Unfortunately, it whizzed by too fast for me to get a shot of it.

Shoot! All this talk of trains makes me want to go back and finish reading The Girl on the Train. There goes the morning...

39

Just an introduction

by Israel Ricky Gonzales in

just wanted to say hello since i am new to this forum.

allow myself to introduce myself.

lol.

under the radar

Welcome Ricky! It would seem that your wife still loves you and wants to be with you, regardless of the religious differences. You are a lucky man.

If your wife will indeed view you as just an "unbeliever" instead of an apostate, that's a very good thing. If you decide to reconcile with her, you will be able to counter the JW indoctrination that will inevitably be forced down your kids' throats unless you intervene. Who knows? If you continue to be reasonable and loving and show a genuine interest in your wife and kids and their welfare, without demanding she chuck everything she believes in right way, you may "win her over without a word."

Handle this right, and you may be able to save your wife and kids from being consumed by the cult. That would be worth almost any sacrifice.

Good luck.

67

List of Prominent JW Urban Legends...

by Tuesday in

jw
friends

hey folks,.

i'm wondering if you all could help me with my next video that i want to put up in the next couple of days (though i'm hoping for tonight), i want to come up with a list of the most prominent urban legends surrounding jws and then refute them whatever they may be.. i'm thinking there's the urban legend about the question on jeopardy that said the nwt was the most accurate would be a good one.

that one stems from an online powerpoint presentation named theological jeopardy and a book which was written comparing six different translations of the bible.

under the radar

All the other stuff is patent bullcrap, but Mickey Spillane actually was a baptized Witness and Book Study conductor. Made a big deal about "cleaning up" his life. Eventually, he went back to writing his detective books and was in and out of the Witnesses. I don't know if he was ever officially disfellowshipped or not, but he died in good standing and his memorial service was held at the Kingdom Hall near his home in South Carolina.

Interesting guy. Wish I had met him.

http://www.theguardian.com/film/1999/jul/23/2

http://www.today.com/id/13907199/ns/today-today_books/t/mystery-writer-mickey-spillane-dies/#.VZ1GYHiUk5c